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Archive - Millwall Match ReportsSeason 2000 / 2001Click on any one of the links below to view the match report, then use the <top> link (at the end of every report) to return here. Warning: These reports are not official. In most cases they were written by players or spectators and no attempt has been made to check the accuracy of the reports, let alone to remove the swear words! Trials game vs. East London 19th August 2000 MILLWALL VS EAST LONDON (TRIAL GAME)- 19TH AUGUST 2000 THE FRONT LINE As Millwall trial games go, this wasn't as oversubscribed as usual, amazing when you think that it was played on the nearest pitch available at this time of year. Even more amazing, the kit turned up. Nevertheless, there was some wonderful stuff played, and, although some of it was done in trainers, the new boys put themselves about a bit, with the kind of relish, that anyone who wants to run out for Millwall, in a league match is going to have to show. . Jason's performance at hooker was self evidently brilliant. Remind us never to bother asking a Springbok to take part in uncontested scrums. They just do not understand. Lets face it when you're running into brick walls to toughen up your nose while your old man is shagging your pet wildebeest, there's a lot of pent up frustration to get rid of, and if you can't do it to the opposing hooker, where else are you going to do it The tight five is never a fun place to be and congratulations are due to the three back rowers who found themselves thrust into that dark jungle to make up for Millwall's shocking paucity of nutters. Especially Greg and Adam, they knew what they were letting themselves into. As for Chris, as long as we tell him that's what its like every week, no matter where you play, we may just have found ourselves another second rower. It would be helpful if someone could routinely remind him not to headbutt people's knees, especially when running at pace. But well done for being there, that'll teach you. The back row as ever screamed with talent, except for John, where it just screamed. He is a back. Stretch and Ollie reminded us all how good they are and Stretch even managed to Skipper when he got his breath back. We knew we were safe from 9 to 10 to 12. Ben, Dan and Kev are all proven performers, Ben especially. We can be sin-binned this year and Ben's already 512 on to be the first visitor. It was also a fair bet that Kev's mate would be no mug. I'm not entirely sure that his other mate's pride in his mother country is entirely well placed but at least he didn't chew tobacco. And so to the back three. It was an entirely new combination and I'd be surprised if they even knew each others names, but they acquitted themselves with aplomb. Stewart especially, having never played the game before, had a stormer. He betrayed his Aussie Rules roots with a flawless catching game. Which probably means him that position for life Good on ya. Jamie and Sion also managed to be in most of the right places, sometimes, even at the right time, and speaking as a winger that isn't always that easy. And so to the game. Well we scored first and we scored last, so at least we were awake. The first score was attributable to a great hand-off from Dan and the last to Kev's mate being well, greedy. We did score another but I've forgotten who by, whoever you are we're all proud of you. Unfortunately we let more in than we scored. I don't know whose idea that was but cut it out, we don't do that sort of thing at Millwall. There's a law against it, I'm sure, and if there isn't allow me to introduce you to Jamie, he'll explain it in words of one syllable. Also while I'm at it, that try they scored straight from the kick-off. It didn't happen, got it. It was all just a bad dream. Now then, I know what you're thinking. What kind of nonsense is this ? Who the bloody hell does this skinny bastard think he is ? he should get himself on this bloody pitch and see how he likes it. Get used to it, because I could easily get used to spectating from the comfort of a well-stocked bar, with running water and a nice young lady itching to bring you a drink. Finally, while I'm thinking about how to fill up the rest of this page, I would like to remind you all that you're supposed to give me money on a regular basis, - starting with your £25 membership fees. Thank you to everyone who has filled out a standing order form, they're a godsend. MILLWALL VS THAMES (TRIAL GAME) - 26TH AUGUST 2000 THE FRONT LINE 1 Jamie Rockman OK, now then I appreciate that I was filling my boots with Guinness at the time, but the main reason we turn up so early is to enable us to get to the opposition's place early enough to get kitted up, warmed up and learn that little bit more about each other which means that you win the close games. We know that it works. I imagine that Thames withheld the key from us until they had the bulk of their men there for precisely that reason. We can't let it happen again. Starting today. As for turning up on time, show your mates a bit of respect. Its not often that you get to sharpen your studs walking over the M25 on a flyover. Its also not often that you end up playing against teams the size of Thames. In terms of square poundage concentrated on the width of a stud, I think that Thames won that one, so it may have been a deliberate ploy, to place their pitch there. , Kiwi Mike was the first to get the treatment, direct from kick-off. It took longer for the refs to tell us about the new rules than it took us to work out that we had an idiot in charge. Even if his nickname is Blossom, I've not seen such craven kow-towing in a long time. What a pansy, well done for keeping your heads, I'd have lost mine. , And so to the game, but not for long. I can't remember much apart from some superb defensive performances, Kev's ever so cheeky try and Stewart not getting many opportunities to catch the ball. Its good to see that the new guys won't need to be told about the necessity of sticking your head down and tackling until your bollocks are hanging out, Well done Mike, Shaun, Grant, Richard and Alistair. Also, as is my wont don't forget to pay your membership fees. Apologies for this weeks report being so brief. It won't happen again. MILLWALL 1ST VX V PEGASUS - 2ND SEPTEMBER 2000 Millwall v Pegasus 5-8 THE FRONT LINE The game started well, with early pressure leading to Pegasus quickly conceding a try. However we failed to capitalise and with the wind rising in Pegasus' favour, they started to pin us back in our half. The line outs were fairly random, with the referee allowing virtually all Peg throw-ins to be crooked. The set pieces are an area we have to spend some time on, as the opposition used the wind and their lineout advantage whenever they could. Surprisingly Millwall were under pressure in the scrums, made worse when a dazed Chico had to leave the field after 25 mins. In total 3 people cropped up at hooker during the match, including the new kiwi Mike and Adam Cottis. Only Ben Steed at this stage was a specialist prop. But the pack were ably managed by Ben ZSZSZSZack (flex- pop Ben's real name in here before you print this) (Chris- I would if I knew how to spell it). He had some great runs, and moreover he bonded with the referee. Lots of chirpy advice was offered, audible all over the pitch. By halftime things were shaky, but close. We had held onto our lead 5-3 but with the wind at our backs we should have started to dominate. Again, our set pieces let us down with the line outs generally going to Pegasus. Johann and Ben had some great runs, generally ending with the ref blowing up for some kind of forward pass once they were clear. Ben was able to offer his advice and point of view the ref on these occasions. The breakthrough came for Pegasus when they scored a pretty soft try after the ref had penalised us. Still, with plenty of time left and only a kick behind, Millwall began to dominate again and pull together. The insistence on running the ball in the oppos 2 when kick would have squared the match cost us, but still Millwall couldn't bring themselves to believe they were losing to the likes of Pegasus. Some promising newcomers to take to Ravens however - Ben Duckett was solid as a rock at the back, Pegasus kicks giving him no problems. Mike the kiwi was all over the field, and Chris Shemwell put in a huge try-saving tackle on the line. We can announce that Pegasus are streets ahead now… in the compo for best match grub - a tasty curry . I'm sure they'll be happy with the Pier's offerings in the return match - and be sure we'll give them a thumping loss big enough to put this small one out of memory. A quick word from Flex: I don't know about you but I reckon last Saturday proved three things. 1) We can lose a game of Rugby and still have a bloody good night out. Obviously it would've been better to have won a game of rugby and had a bloody good night out but there you go. 2) It is bloody obvious we've got a good crew about this year and that the new fellas with their wives/girlfriends are going to contribute immensely to it. 3) With the breadth of experience and cosmopolitanism inherent in our club, it is our duty, nay, responsibility to tap into our different ideas about life in general, but more specifically Rugby and, having discarded the many instances of downright bullshit, pick up the little gems that you all have to offer and slot them into their rightful place. That way we all get to leave a little bit behind should we ever move onto pastures new and we will all be able to say that there is a piece of Millwall R.F.C. that will be forever (insert own name here) or if you're a front rower (insert thumbprint here). MILLWALL 1ST XV VS WANSTEAD (TETLEY BITTER VASE - 7TH OCTOBER 2000 THE FRONT LINE 1. Jamie Rockman Tetley Bitter Vase. The big cup. Millwall were the only team left from Eastern Counties 3 and David was drawn against the 1st division Goliath of Wanstead. Ok, so ol' Goliath had only played one game all season due to cry-offs, weather and the tides, but a big match nevertheless. Kev Bulmer piled off a jet from Miami to captain a strong Millwall side
in the centrepiece of the season. And they say we're a bit posh, eh? Jason
was jetlagged from his jaunt down to Yarpie country, but David McNally
ably filled in for the first half at hooker and the lineouts were pretty
strong. Mike Sinclair was leaping like a salmon (was it Mike that needed
the Pink shorts on Monday ? If so I can feel a nickname coming on.) at
the front of the line, thrown in the air by Jamie Rockman and Ben Steed. A word about John the Greek. He ran his heart out, screaming down the wing on up-and-unders, racing back to put in a tackle, this is the year of the Greek. A word about the touch judge from Wanstead. The weather was against flowing rugby, with driving rain disrupting the back line. Compo was back at fly-half, but the Wanstead back line was up so fast he was often left with very few options but to kick. After 10 minutes of pressure, Millwall opened up a couple of holes and the well-drilled Wanstead backs were through for a try. Millwall were woken up and started to even up the game, spending increasing lengths of time in the Wanstead half. Lots of tap penalties, but you have to wonder whether Johann or Ben Duckett should have been called up with the boot more often. Half time came and things were looking up for Millwall with the forwards
putting together some good phases of play. Then the second half came and
straight away Wanstead put a try in the corner, leaving Millwall up against
it, 12-0 down. Not long after, Wanstead broke through the back line again
and scored a converted try. That was enough to wake Millwall up. The forwards, started to put some
good runs together and Alan set off on some promising runs which culminated
in a great 10-man try with the ball passing through virtually the whole
pack's hands. Now Millwall were starting to take control, but too late to affect the
outcome. More pressure, and the soaked spectators on the sideline were
going mad (well, those that weren’t already clinically insane),
but it wasn't to be.If Millwall play this standard of rugby week in, week
out, it won't be too long before they are in the 1st division themselves. The match from the perspective of a female spectator: MILLWALL LLAMAS VS CREDIT SUISSE FIRST BOSTON - 9TH OCTOBER 2000 SECOND HELPINGS 1. Ben Steed, Res: Adam Cottis, Jason Spires. The Llama is an intrepid animal. It can flourish on high mountain slopes and, as we found out on Monday at Barking RFC, the Llama can play floodlights and in 2 inches of water. The Llamas were reinforced with some players from the 1st XV who put aside their aches and pains or, in the case of Ben, came back from holiday. Millwall faced a CSFB side that looked good. They warmed up outside. In the monsoon. Our boys popped their heads round the corner, looked at the rain and opted for the changing room warm-up The first half saw most of the Millwall action. The forwards rose to the muddy conditions and produced a display of controlled power. They were marshaled by Ben Szyczak who, out of character, buttoned his lip and instead 'bonded' with his opposite number the way only scrumhalves can do. Suffice to say the CSFB scrumhalf was subbed by half time. Johan piled on the points with the boot, converting penalty after penalty until Millwall were a reasonable 12 points ahead. The backs fumbled surprisingly little considering the severe conditions and Phil Antenbring, back from injury with Jamie Rockman close behind him in appearances for Millwall, had some promising runs. Carl Llewelyn was solid under the high ball at full back and put in some blistering counter-attacks. It was one day when Millwall did extremely well in the lineout. Ollie
Morris and Mike Sinclair were all over their opposing jumpers, and Pete
Roughton's throwing was superb considering it was raining so hard he might
as well have had a garden hose above him. The rain got worse, (horizontal?) and the game ground down to stalemate.
CSFB didn't really look like scoring in the second half, and in that weather
neither were the Llamas. The introduction of unopposed scrums killed off
the last chances of either side to put together a try-scoring platform,
and both sides were happy to retire for a hot shower and the bar. Spare a thought for poor Robbie, who was dragged out of a warm changing
room to be sent back on the pitch for an injured Gavin Armstrong. MILLWALL 1ST XV VS OLD STREETONIANS - 4TH NOVEMBER 2000 Eventually the half-backs managed to get the ball out and Millwall’s centres then looked like doing something. The outside centre achieved the half break and then slipped the ball to the full back (Carl Llewylln) coming into the line at pace and then accelerating - the guy is quick! The move broke down but the positive play settled Millwall who then began to play well re-cycling the ball through numerous phases. The rucking was very impressive in this period and Ben Sczysack at no 9 began to play with his usual confidence. The pressure paid off. Old Streets infringed and the Millwall no 10 Ben Duckett kicked the resultant penalty. From the restart Millwall again dominated simply by recycling the
ball. They kept possession and the opposition out of the game. A try for
Millwall came just before half time. Two or three rucks in quick succession
sucked in the Old Street back row tacklers, the ball was recycled to the
Millwall backs who ran straight committing the Old Street mid-field tacklers.
Their defence was stretched and from a ruck close to the touch-line Mike
Woodrow burst free, broke a tackle and scored. Duckett could not manage
the difficult conversion but Millwall were 8-0 up at half time. Final score was 12 -8 to Old Streetonians. Man of the match was Millwall’s
Carl Llewyllyn - he is very quick. All had a good run out. Millwall’s players went back to Old Street for drinks and food with the opposition. I also heard that Millwall’s players went shopping (locally) and treated Greg Clerkson (returning to Canada) to a going away present. MILLWALL 1ST XV VS BARKING - 11TH NOVEMBER 2000 MILLWALL 0 - 10 BARKING THE FRONT LINE 1. Jar O'Brien Res: Paul Spendiff, Adam Cottis, Glyn Bevan Well, they were bigger than us. Let’s face it, any team heading onto the park with a 9 stone blind-side flanker is, presumably, at a disadvantage (unless, of course, his name is Tim Parham). So, the weather, which had started cold and windy, was going to rain. We had a ref that had been promoted up from the fourth team game because ours was stuck on the Woolwich Ferry. Put that excuse in your memory banks, it works every time. Amazingly the ref had a reasonable time. That’s enough of that. We lost the toss and Barking, using their profound local knowledge, played into the conditions first half. Giving us the opportunity to pile on the points. Errrrrrrrrrr. The Captain’s instructions were to play in the top left hand corner and Ben (Kick it) Duckett duly kicked Barking backwards for the first 15 minutes. The rest of us were trying to work out which was left and which was right and, lacking confidence in our directional abilities, didn’t. Nevertheless, we created enough chances in our periodic encampments somewhere near their line to have scored. However, due to our supreme satisfaction at finding ourselves in the top left hand corner, fulfilling our skipper’s instructions to the letter, we didn’t score. That’ll teach ‘El Capitano’ not to reveal the entire game plan to his troops. Barking, by the way, play exactly the same way as a club. Roughly similar to the French. They play one way until they run out of space and then back they come, having stretched the opposition pack, however light they may be. May and Baker will do the same thing, Only slower. Barking, against the wind, ran into it. Their fly-half, particularly, played well using his support, which he had in abundance, intelligently. This support came from all parts of the field, the forwards and backs, usually screaming, ensured he knew where they were and, if he was bored with taking it on himself, or was just plain tired, he picked them superbly. Amazingly, so Skip tells me, they also had a lively hooker. Isn’t that illegal? Having surprised us with having a lively hooker they then proceeded to suck us in in droves (I bet the machine highlights that as a double word, well it can just go and mumble quietly to itself; they have no soul these things), releasing their spare men on a choose your overlap hunt How in God’s name they managed to suck us in when I don’t
remçmber seeing a maul lads ms to believe that there may have been
one or two of us out there whose minds may have been on their Christmas
shopping. There’s loads of time, don’t worry. Which reminds
me can we please ensure that all members of our pack are familiar with
the line out calls.? Now lads, this is what we do, the standard of our
play varies, in an inversely proportional relationship, to the distance
we are from our own line. Now some of us enjoy tackling, some more than others, but defending all the time and then giving them the ball back, so you can keep tackling is just plain stupid. You may as well run into brick walls for an hour and a half. No Jason, you’re not meant to take that seriously. Pride is all very well fellas, no bastard is going to get over my line if I can help it. But ruthlessness is much more fun. Sticking it up them, as I’m sure you’ll all agree, I think, is much more satisfying than letting them stick it up you. If you get my drift? I can’t remember exactly who it was that said it first, probably an Antipodean, but the succinct phrase ‘let’s fuck ‘em up’ is one that we could all do well to remember. To sum up the first half. After our fifteen minutes of fame, smelling
the sweet, sweet turf of the oppositions 22, we gave them the ball. They
ran at us all the way to our 22. That was close enough we thought (having
lost sight of their clubhouse). We dug in and made them cough it up. Then
we kicked it back to them again. They ran at us all the way to our 22.
That was close enough we thought (having lost sight of their clubhouse).
We dug in and made them cough it up. Then we kicked it back to them again.
Ad nauseum. Flex could go to the bar and provide a running commentary on the Australia-Scotland
game. Barking scored using the oldest trick in the book. Attack the fella
that’s just come on the pitch. Admittedly, it was a good, well rehearsed
move move, I’ll say that again, move move. And they scored. Bastards.
For the mathematicians amongst us, that gave them five points. This was
followed by a reasonable kick, which made it seven. After a double infringement
shortly afterwards they got another three points making it 10 points.
For the non-mathematicians amongst us, it meant we had to score at least
twice in order not to lose. Geddit. This we conspicuously failed to do, in the eyes of the ref anyway. Stung into submission, we decided to play. Anyway, at long last, we began to gain the upper hand, without really
trying. Just like the kid at school who knows it all and puts their hand
up half-heartedly knowing that the teacher isn’t going to ask him,
or her, obviously, the question. So when the teacher did ask the question,
as they always do, our surprise at finding ourselves thus left us floundering
in a stunned silence. Don’t ever allow yourself to do that again. The mock exam was over. The main test looms (that’s May and Baker, by the way), with another mock this Saturday. It was good to see so many on Wednesday, staying back after school for extra revision. The second mock is nigh upon us. If the result is as bad as the lust then we know there is more to do. Between you and I, I somehow think that this second mock will be passed with flying colours. MILLWALL LLAMAS VS STANFORD LE HOPE II'S - 9TH DECEMBER 2000 Millwall v Stanford II's 10 - 32 SECOND HELPINGS Back to the pack, they were awesome. Heavily outweighed (note; can you be lightly outweighed?) and outgunned in all set piece phases of play, they managed to kick the bollocks out of them, it was great. Remember, there were no full backs, one wing, a flanker, two props (one from them) and Adam making up the Millwall pack. The line-outs were truly forgettable, who can remember their try from the line-out when the ref forgot that it should be five yards out. I know I can't. Kev threw beautifully to the middle man, we'd called a two man, and the tallest bloke on the park dropped down with the ball to score. Note to skippers number 1 , a 2 man line out involves four players, the hooker, the scrum half and 2 jumpers. They can stand where they like. Note to skippers number 2. all line-outs must, at present, be at least five yards away from a try line. Nevertheless, a great effort from Adam, leading the troops with such inauspicious beginnings. And so to the backs. Using my influence with our President, it is now illegal for the First team ever to pick any of the backs who played for the Llamas. They won't like it but I'm going to single (double ?) out Spendy and the Silver Fox for their truly awesome performances, both in defence and attack. Gus, too, is clearly an exceptional player but when you're being fed by Flex, you're up against it right from the start. As Paul Wansbone said, I think, in England you can be sure of three things; you will get stuck in traffic jams, you will get wet and Flex will have a nightmare. I'm going to talk about our try because it was wonderful. I have no idea how we got up to their end and won a scrum, but I bet it had everything to do with good kicking, a run from Andy Hocken/Paul Spendiff/Jeff Fairbairn, followed by them cheating and the ref neglecting to give us a penalty but a scrum instead. We won the scrum, Flex didn't drop it and found Gus (even without contact lenses) who dummied to Andy and then to Paul, running out of puff he found Spendy who was not going to be stopped from there. That put us in front, we converted They got a try. We got a penalty. And that, as far as I'm concerned, is that. And finally, in time honoured fashion a word about their Ref. (all together now) WANKER. MILLWALL 1ST XV VS KINGS CROSS STEELERS - 16TH DECEMBER 2000 Dear Flex
Being a sober spectator of the Steelers – Millwall fixture today, I thought you might want some quick notes for your match report.
Millwall 80 – 0 Steelers
16 Tries, 4 Conversions
Men of the Match: JA. 3pts John the Greek 2 pts Andy “Silver Fox” 1 pt
Jason turned up late, played 2nd half, yelped like a little girl in first tackle. JA was on fire. By far the fittest, fastest forward. Shaun the Aussie knocked out a Steeler in a big tackle – required an ambulance. Compo found the ground a bit soft and didn’t run on to a ball all day. Jason sucked. Dav didn’t show. Ben Syzac got told to shut up by every team member. Jason Sucked. The Steelers sucked. Marius is a big soft poof. Andy scored 4 tries also.
Ring me if you want more details.
Gavin “Did you get the number of that bus” Armstrong
MILLWALL 1ST XV VS DAGENHAM - 24TH FEBRUARY 2001 MILLWALL RFC 48 def DAGENHAM RFC 12 Regrettably, the players were more focused than their touch judge who, despite being behind the posts for each try, can’t for the life of him remember in which sequence they were scored. This is not entirely beer related, but comes down to the shock of seeing excellent handling from the back division, and the sheer number scored. Suffice to say congratulations to Jamie Rockman (2), Phil Antenbring (2), Carl Llewellyn (2), James (?) and Mark Dempsey. This match was a considerable improvement on those played recently,
a fact which may have been aided at least in part by the fact that the
referee was actually capable of getting around without the assistance
of a Golden Labrador. I say the county recruits more able bodied referees
and gives up on this left wing ideal of equal opportunities for the differently
abled’ . In fact, you can find a badge supporting this at the end
of the report. MILLWALL 1ST XV VS UPPER CLAPTON - 3RD MARCH 2001 Upper Clapton 26 def Millwall 12 THE FRONT LINE Res: Nigel Webb, Glyn Bevan Adam Cottis; Age 35, Caps 41, Telephone numbers 1678. Has scored more
tries than Neil Mangeolles and Guy Lether put together. Famed for his
speed in the tight and for regularly failing to appear in tackle counts.
(you can be sure that when the opposition' scrum half has got someone
standing on his foot, Adam is nearby). Instantly recognisable because
of his Silver hair and Chateau Llama 2001 wines. Can do better. 5/10
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