Archive - Millwall Match Reports

Season 2001 / 2002

Click on any one of the links below to view the match report, then use the <top> link (at the end of every report) to return here.

Warning: These reports are not official. In most cases they were written by players or spectators and no attempt has been made to check the accuracy of the reports, let alone to remove the swear words!

1sts v Wanstead 15th September 2001-
Llamas v Wanstead II's 15th September 2001 -
1sts v Thames 22nd September 2001- Not available yet
Llamas v Thames II 22nd September 2001 -
Llamas v Upminster III's 29th September 2001 - 
1sts v Ilford Wanderers 6th October 2001 - 
Llamas v Ilford Wanderers III's 6th October 2001 - 
Llamas v Upper Clapton III's 13th October 2001 - 
1sts v Bancrofts 20th October 2001 - 
Llamas v Bancrofts IIs 20th October 2001 - 
1sts v South Woodham Ferrers 27th October 2001 - 
Llamas v Old Tottonians 27th October 2001 - 
1sts v Barking III's 3rd November 2001 - Not available yet!
Llamas v May & Baker II's 3rd November 2001 - 
1sts v Wanstead 10th November 2001 - 
Llamas v Wanstead IIIs 10th November 2001 - 
1sts v East London 17th November 2001 - 
Llamas v Anglia 1's 17th November 2001 - 
Llamas v Thurrock 4s 24th November 2001 - Not available yet!
1sts v May & Baker 1st December 2001 -
1sts v Old Brentwoods 8th December 2001 - 
Llamas v Old Brentwoods IIs 8th December 2001- 
1sts v Braintree 3's 15th December 2001 - 
1sts v East London 22nd December 2001 - 
1sts v Dagenham 6th January 2002 - 
1sts v Wanstead 12th January 2002 - 
Llamas v Wanstead 12th January 2002 - 
1sts v Old Bealonians 19th January 2002 - 
Llamas v Eton Manor 2's - Not available yet!
Club Team v Gensler 21st January 2002 - 
1sts v South Woodham Ferrers 26th January 2002 - 
Llamas v Brentwood 26th January 2002 - 
1sts v Bancrofts 2nd February 2002 - 
Llamas v Bancrofts 2nd February 2002 - 
1sts v Old Streetonians 9th February 2002 - 
Llamas v Old Streetonians 9th February 2002 - 
1sts v Chingford 3's 16th February 2002 - 
1sts v Ilford Wanderers 23rd February 2002 - Not available yet.
Llamas v Ilford Wanderers 23rd February 2002 -
1sts v Dagenham 2nd March 2002 -
Llamas v Southend 2nd March 2002 -
1sts v Westcliff 9th March 2002 - Not available yet.
Llamas v Thurrock 9th March 2002 - Not available yet.

MILLWALL RFC
Vs
Wanstead
15th September 2001
Round 1 TBV
Vicky Park, 14:00
 

1. Jamie Rockman
2. Dave McNally
3. Tim Hughes
4. Darren Boyle
5. Neil Mangeolles
6. Adam Cottis
7. Sean McCann
8. John Geromoschos
9. Carl Llewelyn
10. Ben Duckett
11. Nigel Webb
12. Kevin Bulmer
13. Will Knight
14. Peter Williams
15. Phil Antenbring

16. Gavin Armstrong (Adam Cottis)
17. Mike Costin
 
" The first half was dominated by dodgy reffing decisions (well a complete lack of understanding of Advantage) and poor Millwall tackling as well as the fact that we looked like we had gone back to bed! At one point we were in contention at 5 -3 thanks to a Ben Duckett penalty, amid cries that it was too far out from the sidelines! The less said about it, well the first 24 minutes, the better."
" In the second half we seemed to remember that we are actually quite a good team and started to perform more to our ability. Our forwards seemingly rediscovered the fire in their bellies, especially Gavin who came on for an injured Adam Cottis in the first half (Please don't slap his face when you see him as he has a broken Jaw now!) John the Greek looked like he had been around the entire continent of Asia, but to his credit kept pushing for those extra yards. Our backs when they got the ball tried to get things going, but coming back from a 30 point deficit is never going to be easy."
" We did eventually cross the Wanstead Line; a well worked move starting with the forwards winning good ball, and feeding the back line. Good quick hands led to the ball arriving at Phil Antenbring, Millwall’s very own "Try Machine”, coming into the line from Full Back. He then beat two players (that’ll be £20, cheers Phil) to go over to a resounding shout of "YEESSSS", from our very own Chairman Chico. "We often accuse ourselves at Millwall of not getting going quick enough and today was an excellent example. OK sure, Wanstead, could afford to sit back in the second half and take it easy, but we gave them a few scares along the way (literally a few), without really suffering too many ourselves.” It will be a long hard season, but this Wanstead team was by far the best team we have played over the past few years and a bit of payback for Millwall should surely be in order when we meet them again in the League, and if we are going to compete at this level, which we can, then we all have to look at ourselves our own game and put the effort it. That means training every week as a squad, so that we can hit the League running not playing catch up rugby like today, which as you all know is hard. We can do it Gentlemen, we are Millwall!!”  
Final Score……..it was less than 50  
Millwall 10 v Wanstead 47…  
The Season Starts now…………  
Ben Steed
1st Team Manager
 

Llamas v Wanstead 2's – 15th September 2001  
1. Peter Gerber
2. Ian Goodwin
3. Martin Ward
4. Jamie McKillop
5. Glyn Bevan
6. Gareth Parkhill
7. Larry McCabe
8. Harland Sinclair
9. Paul Evans
10. Nick Hull
11. Steve Brooks
12. Mark Dempsey
13. Paul Wansbone
14. Sion King
15. Phil Wilkinson
Llamas new kit
Mike Costin (Peter Gerber)
 
Score
Wanstead 2 : Lots Llamas : Slightly Fewer (5)
 
Last Saturday saw the Llamas open their season with a 2nd Team Cup game against Wanstead 2's. The game was always going to be difficult with over 75% of the team never having played together before. Wanstead on the other hand had all obviously played together before and were very well organised.
The pack had a definite makeshift air about it with a number of last minute drop outs, which necessitated Larry, Glyn, Jamie and Paul Wansbone moving into the forwards. This lack of experience in the pack was more than compensated for by the other more seasoned campaigners. The pack was ably led by Peter Gerber, and the Backs Marshalled by Compo, a late addition to the side.
Overall we gave a very good account of ourselves, especially in the forwards, which after some early hesitation began to make an impact with their rucking and scrummaging. Another pleasing aspect for the squad was the fitness level, with everyone still seeming reasonably fresh at the end of the game. Indeed towards the end of the first half we started showing this by beginning to drive their scrums back (this continued for much of the rest of the match). The backs also showed promise with a number of players catching the eye under difficult conditions. The only areas in which we were deficient were organisation and tackling, this was to be expected however, with the first game of the season, and we can only get stronger in these areas as the season progresses. The score line unfortunately did not reflect the course of the game. The majority of their scores came from breakaways out wide, many of them against the run of play (and sometimes after blatant knock ons, or even attacking players straying into touch!!!).
Millwalls' score came after a quick ball from a ruck which saw Nick Hull break through the Wanstead defence and run in under the posts. As a team we should not read too much into this result as Wanstead 2's are one of the more difficult sides we will face this season. Thames 2's will be a far more realistic challenge next week and a team against which we can get a result if we build on our 2nd Team Cup performance.

THAMES 2nd XV
 
24
MILLWALL LLAMAS
19
Thames 2nd XV were big lads last season and seemed even bigger this season. The Llamas agreed a game plan before kick off in an attempt to play to its own strengths. It paid off early on when, after recycling the ball and a few passes, the Llamas full back (Cheese) found space to run round their big lads for Millwall’s first try. It was converted by Cheese.  
A mix up on the tackling in the Llamas midfield let in Thames for their first try shortly afterwards. That was the exception and throughout the game the Llamas tackling was as good as the writer has ever seen it – particularly in the centres and from the No 8.  
It was a good open game played in warm, still and sunny conditions. As it was an away game the referee was a Thames player. Thames began to edge in front but the Llamas were told to (and did) keep playing and scoring to the end with two more tries by Cheese at full back - one converted by Eric at outside centre.
 
Thames converted a try in the last minute to win what was a close game.
 
The Llamas did well and special mention should go to the new players. It should be remembered many of the Llamas were playing together for the first time. No doubt the Thames team have been together for longer. If the Llamas can field a regular side with all players training and getting fitter and build on the good spirit already prevailing the writer has no doubt we will surprise the opposition and win matches this season. Keep it going the Llamas. Play intelligent rugby and we will win no matter how big they are.
 
Well done the Llamas:
1. Austen Osborne 9. Philip Aspden (the writer)
2. Chris Mcafferty 10. Will Townsend
3. Mike Costin 11. N/a
4. Jamie McKillop 12. Joff Dutfield
5. Glyn Bevan 13. Eric
6. Gareth Parkhill 14. Alastair Sykes
7. Paul Wansbone 15. Cheese
8. Jon Chico

A= Time to meet
B= Smartness of attire
C= Has a car
D= Most Tackles
E= Man of the match
F= Support from the sidelines
G= Try Scorers
H= Downing most breezers
I= Biggest Pisshead
J= Fondled biggest breasts
K= Gayest looking
L= Longest walk naked
 
Notable incidents that may or may not have occurred (depending on whether you plan to sue…)

1. We won 20-7
2. Everyone played well
3. Toby didn't piss into a bottle with Vicky on his lap
4. Peter Gerber does not look gay
5. Ben Steed and Chico did walk back from Greenwich naked
6. Wiggie got his first ever try
7. Eric didn't throw up in the farm toilets before the match
8. Wiggie didn't dangle his bits in front of a Chinese takeaway
9. Chico did not molest Sian
10. Toby was so pissed every pub in Greenwich refused him entry
11. John The Greek did not fall asleep in his pizza
12. Chico did not stick his prick in places it should not be
13. Eric failed in his quest to snog someone by ten o'clock and has to down a yard
14. Peter did not accuse several Upminster players of being gay for holding two drinks when we were outnumbered ten to one
15. There are some locals in a country pub near Upminster wondering why he hell a troop of rugby players invaded their pub, ordered some breezers and left
16. The author can not remember much of the evening as 1) he was so pissed & 2) he kept falling asleep in various establishments

Millwall Llamas v Upminster 3s
(Forward’s view*)  

Warm up done. They ain't so big this time..nice to have a team our size for a change. Kick off. Ours. Sorted. First scrum. Hard core fellas, good and tight. Hey that wasn’t so bad. I'll have some more of that today. Line out. He he, they really don't like the look of Big Jim. Not straight, whatever, back to the scrum; shunt them backwards.
Backs fly, good to see. More of the same.
Finally we steal solid ball on the 10 (who needz a 22?) and off to the
backz. Gareth manages to get the ball off them backz, he scores. "Bonza!"
Did we kick it?
Lazy. We know it. Scott (da guy with 6 on his back) sorts us out. Win the scrums. Still gone to sleep. WAKE UP!
Starting to mulla them in the rucks. They don't like it.
Move BIG Jim around in the line, starts to have an effect. On their
ball. Hehahe. Scrum is BIG. Move them backwards. More. Close now, a good run and we're in. WIGGIE! Great score.
They're looking a bit tired running back now. Keep it up and we'll have a rout.
Scrumz are looking great. Force them back. And again.
5 yard scrum. FORCE THEM BACK!
No place for them to run, nowhere. We're all over them.
Lineout..theirs...no, Scott’s...YES...OURS! Ruck, PUSH
Scott SCORES!
I reckon we're in the lead.
 
Half time. Water. People talk.
Uphill this half. No problem, its flatter in their 22...
SOLID scrums, nice. MOVE THEM BACWARDS.
Getting tiring.
What's going on? Wake UP? they just run thru us, cheeky bastards.
Ok, calming down, march up the pitch, Backz are storming down the middle, Cheez and Oz Paul at the back bloody useful.
Win one of their ruckz ruck (oh, I'm sorry, want to stamp on my head?),our ball, backz fly... Our backz unleashed, all the way to Eric, beats his man, HE'S IN,
SCOREZ...ref doesn't give him
Not given… Just because it was short of the line! !"£$%F^K&*(@/(  : No beer for ref :
Def. no beer for ref.
 
Rob's off. The Chimp’s on - here we go, planet of the apes Great supporters!
Win their ruck. Again. Our ball. Out. Spendy twats 2 of theirs…running.. ERIC scores!
VIVE LA FRENCH!
(Did we kick it? none at all?)
 
Dominate the scrum.
 
Done. The bar beckonz. We won.
 
*For the benefit of any backs reading this, forwards generally don’t SEE much of the game. This explains why a match report written by a forward has often made up large chunks of the report, guessed the scorers and the order of the scores.

Last week saw the first win of the season. Those there watching the game saw what I believe to be the real start of our season. On a dodgy pitch in Upminster, with big looming rain clouds overhead, there came a big message from Millwall, “We can play well, and by god do we enjoy it”. From those watching the game on the sidelines there was a certain element of envy as we made Upminster look fairly normal, in the first half we attacked with passion and heart and in the second half we let the oppo do all the running as they tried in vain to play catch up rugby, and that, as we know too well, is hard.  
Our forwards last Saturday played with determination and pride, putting in big tackles, winning loose ball, turning over scrums and battling away around the park. Our back line played with aggression and attacking prowess, always looking for the gap and not kicking the ball when we had better options on. From the sidelines watching the game flow certain players do deserve a little pat on the back, James, standing at 7’ and playing his first game for Millwall, had a storming game, Cheese, attacked whenever possible, Eric, had a Dominici like performance, sniping down all flanks (although he should make himself aware of where the try line is!). Gareth Parkhill playing in the second row played a hard game until he retired injured. There are a lot of fellas who gave it their all and deserve a mention, but, well I don’t want to make it sound too good. There were times when we let it slip, but it was a performance to build on. Well Done the Llamas.  
On the sidelines Millwall showed that we are a club of the people! Our supporters outnumbered theirs, well they had 3, two of whom were 10 years old. If you had been listening to the game on the radio you would have thought we had a few hundred watching us play. Or watching certain scenes from Gladiator! The main culprits were of course Toby, who celebrating his Birthday was his usual quiet, lemonade drinking self (it would be good to see you play mate!). Chico, oh no he was playing, well looking a little like Robocop. Our very own Speilberg, Austen (or Ozzy) recording the games highlights for Rugby special, well he was, until the Battery when dead at half time. Mr Joffy Dutfield, who sadly is injured after a heroic performance the previous week, was also notably quieter than his Brother. Special thanks to James’ Girlie, Vicky, who inspired the team by mostly shouting “Come on Millwall, you’re playing like a bunch of girls!”

Millwall RFC Vs Ilford RFC
 
Saturday 6th October
 
Fortress Vicky
 
Mike Costin
Chris McCafferty
Tony Smith
Darren Boyle
Neil Mangelloes
Sean McCann
Sean Landy
JTG
Paul Evans
Ben Duckett
Paul Spendiff
Will Knight
Kevin Bulmer
Dan Hughes
Phil Antenbring
 
Pete Roughton
Ben Steed
Phil Aspden
 
The Game – Well if it keeps raining like it did during parts of the game on Saturday then we shall forget about boots and all wear flippers, rain… oh it did that all right. The omens looked good, a rainbow falling into our oppositions try line, a wind that we played against all first half, which then proceeded to bugger off when we could have used it.  
The first 10 minutes were really tight, both teams attacking then taking there turn to defend, we slightly held the upper hand, but both teams looked up for a good game. The first ten minutes were probably more of a shock to Ilford than us. We know how well we can play and today we showed it. The Ilford back line got the ball, and before they knew it or could say Johnny Wilkinson our entire defensive line was up hitting their targets. Big, big hits from Paul Spendiff and Ben Duckett, give a man a bit of Gilbert Body armour and he becomes a giant (Ben you are not allowed to play without them).
 
The scoring started with a Penalty to Ilford, which they’d won for a reason I simply cannot remember. Their coach seemed to think that would lead to a rejuvenation of his side. How wrong he was. After some good forward play we attacked deep into there 22. We seemed like we were determined to score but never actually quite make it, the backs had a huge overlap on the right, but we kept going left.  
  Eventually out persistence wore them down and Will Knight went over to score a superb team built try. 5 – 3. The conversion, well it was a long way out, crappy wind blowing against the flight, by buggery, Ben slotted it. Good effort remember those pads.  
Then a lucky try for Ilford a quick break a kick over and a nasty bounce. Well I better call it that, as I do not wish to offend anyone. There is a rule about not letting the ball bounce but never mind. Conversion completed.
 
Half time Millwall 7 Ilford 10
 
The second half was tense, the rain came down, the rainbow formed over the pitch and Ilford generally became annoyed with our good strong defensive play and sharp attacking rugby. One of the best moves of the game almost led to our next try, a clearance kick was picked out of the air and without breaking stride our winger went round their man only to be tackled by there Full Back. He knows who he is…  
Then we struck, now to be honest and fair I cannot recall what happened but I do know that there was a lot of attacking rugby from Millwall, and a couple of players lay claim to the try, but after much deliberation and Breezer downing, it goes to Dan Hughes, to be fair Will did tell me Dan scored, Dan wasn’t sure!  
The rest of the game saw huge downpours, rainbows and attacking rugby from Ilford we held on for most of the game but Ilford scored a debatable try, I am sure that you have to apply downward pressure and not just knock the ball over the line. Never mind. We tried in vain to come back again, and we came close.
 
Final Score Millwall 14 Vs Ilford 15 – Close  
Last week I told of how I believed that our season had finally started, well this week I not only believe it but I know it. The game against Ilford, one of the strongest teams in the league was only ever going to be hard. However it was on this day that we came up against it and as one, sent out a message to those who think that we are in trouble “We are in this league and by the way we do intend to fight to stay in it”. In order to do this we will have to play at the level of rugby that we produced for almost 80 minutes on Saturday. I am not getting carried away, there is work to be done, training, drills to practice, fitness to be worked on, but the light is at the end of the tunnel and we can all see it. 
Ben Steed
 
 
NB I think in all the excitement and shock I actually got the tries the wrong way round never mind…

Note: There are two reports below.

1st REPORT
Ilford Wanderers 3s v Mighty Llama’s 
Kickoff: 3:00 3:30 pm
 
As Dickens might have written: ‘It was the worst of times, and it wasn’t even on time’. The strength and fortitude of the Millwall Rugby Football Club 2nd team, visible in abounds the previous two outings, was seldom to be seen. 
This was a match that from the outset showed many of the worst traits of the Llamas, the worst of all being that we once again showed what we were capable of only in the last 20 minutes.
 
The match began with the traditional pre-game ritual of learning everyone’s names and positions. In an astounding development though, for perhaps for the first time in Llamas history (or perhaps not, but let not facts disrupt a good story) we had an overabundance of forwards… I kid you not. Consequently by the end of the game we had two surplus fearless flying flankers playing in the back line (more on that later). 
Initial fears that we had no front row were immediately set aside when Hillbilly Ross proffered himself as a front row hard man with the exclaimation “Uncontested scrums? Then we don’t get to hurt people – where’s the fun in that?” It was about 15 minutes into the game when it became obvious where the “fun in that” was, as Hillbilly was the unfortunate victim of the Millwall injury curse. 
More fun was to be had though, as Ilford set about improving the man advantage they had over us by setting their mad dog hooker on back line pin-up boy Phil. Apparently there is no truth to the rumour the head butt was a pre-arranged effort to help him score at work the next day. Early reports suggest Phil is recovering well from the bang but that a minor personality change has crept in and he has taken to wearing make-up. Doctors have warned another knock could leave him with irreversible trans-sexualism. Team tactics may suggest skip passes past him for the next couple of weeks.
 
The story of the game pretty much goes as follows:
 
· Llamas finally find ground, get changed and kick off after picking up an Ilford spare;
· Llamas have multiple tries scored against them in the first half whilst variously dealing with borderline Ilford tactics, loss of players to injury, and playing into a light breezy hurricane;
· Llamas half time talk involves working out tactics to stop James killing and eating several of the Ilford pack;
· Second half Llamas finally show some fortitude, scoring a brilliant backline try using the aforementioned fearless flying flankers: set up beautifully by Craig, scored with flash and flair and red headedness by Sean. Converted brilliantly from wide out in front of the posts by Cheese;
· A couple more tries scored by Ilford – match ends Ilford approx 41 – Mighty Millwall Llamas 7. 
A game the Llamas have shown enough ability this season to have claimed but ultimately a disappointing performance.
Hounourable mentions go to Toby who proved, despite physicists stating otherwise, someone can be two places at once (and putting in huge tackles while he’s at it) and Flush for story (and nickname) of the day. He is apparently banned from the second oldest club in South Africa for exposing himself in the club house once to often in front of the Chairman. Clearly the day is coming when similar events will gain him life membership of Millwall.
2nd REPORT

The effort in training is beginning to pay off!!!!!
 
A convoy of 13 players duly made themselves present for the 3rd in counter of the season against a well-organised speedy side known as Ilford Wanderers. With the elements against us, especially in the first half, we managed to put together a sequence of phases, which allowed us to camp in the oppositions half for maybe 20 minutes. As has happened before, a break down in communication and slow ball didn’t convert this pressure into points.  
The tell tail signs of match practice and collective thinking still hangs over everyone’s heads, but the contribution of sheer effort and hard work will improve this element to our game as the season progresses. Owing to this part of our game, a few break away tries were scored by the opposition throughout the first half, putting us in the realm of catch up rugby which we have found ourselves in before. Needless to say the spirit with the club and the diehard supporters (which grace every game with their intelligent and constructive screaming) gave us the ability of not cracking under pressure.  
From the touchline it was evident that The Llamas were up against a fairly well drilled/fit side giving them a slight edge to their game. This didn’t deter us in the evidence of our tackling, namely one individual (Toby), where fear seems to be a meal in itself served at breakfast time.  
The tackling and commitment as a whole is improving from game to game, allowing us to create the space for the likes of Cheese and Co. to run in the tries, built from the foundation of the forward pack which is showing signs of forward momentum.
 
With a full 15 man team the world’s our Oyster!!!!!!!

HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS AS MUCH AS I DID WRITING IT!
all the best ben
 
 
From somewhere deep in the bowels of Upper Clapton's shower room came forth the Millwall war cry ... Operatic - one through ten.
With renewed vigour and coach's feisty encouragement we made our away into the tropical heat, trying not to break our balls on the stray golfballs.
For what seemed a long, anxious and ensuing twenty minutes we were seriously on the backfoot (or should I say literally!).
We appeared to be more concerned with searching for insulation tape: it's in the bag ....no not there the kit bag.. no wrong again it's in
Chico's top left breast blazer pocket....oh there's none left.
Or
Water, where's the water?
Oh I see it's in the bright red watering can...just tip it up and pour it over yourself. Impossible to drink out of but by ehh lads it sure looks good!
Anyway we have a game in progress...oh yeah.
Whatever was secretly laced in that watering can seemed to be some kind of elixir to rugby. As they marauded forward, made a break on the right
and cut back inside towards the posts a salvation appeared, more later. An inspired Flex moment,
who, 'crounching tiger fat knacker' (ironic twist in the tale) styleeeee leapt with all his stealth upon his opponent's back, clung on for dear life only to see everybody else waiting for everybody else to tackle him. Try under the posts. 5-0 Then they scored another one. 10-0.
As we entered into the last fifteen minutes of the first half we gathered confidence and momentum. Trundling up the pitch by hook or by crook we arrived, camped out five metres from their line. After a lot of excellent forward play, Mr Alan E whipped up the ball from his feet, a miss and then.....(Karmina Burana music comes in and the game goes slo mo) there he was Mr Salvation, the swerving dervish, rubber legged Flex who stepped in then out to go around his opposite man with grace and ease. Although not converted, Mr Phil appeared less frightened of kicking the ball than catching it. 10-5.
Turnaround.
A few encouraging FUCKS from the coach! And all was rosey in the Millwall garden.
After that first forty minute warm-up we started to gain ground, winning a few line outs, tackling low and digging in, by joe we started to look like a rugby unit.
Soon into the first five minutes, the forwards again had made a stirling effort to get us to within ten metres of their line. Out came the ball from Mr A
whipped up to Mr D who missed Mr B straight to MR W, who had obviously been studying the swinging hips of Flex, shimmied around three men and scooted in under the posts. Nice one fella! Converted. 10-12.
We're off and away. Our fitness began to show as we piled on the pressure. We had runners, a few more tackles but not quite as many as one would like and Mr C... confidence.
On came super-sub Mr K, a miss move again, Flex's hips, Phil's cunning and his whippet speed drilled him under the posts a nifty try. Converted. 10-19.
The game was by no means done and dusted though, they were still up for it. We had to work hard in the middle of the park, put the tackles in and recycle quick ball, well, as quick as you can. After a few up and unders it was the infamous whippet again who snatched up a bouncing ball and scored under the sticks. Last kick of the game and victors at 15-25.
I think I forgot to mention that somewhere in the second half they scored a try in the corner, but you will have to excuse me as my head was buried somewhere...
Let's go from here now..
 
There's no flies on us, especially as we don't have to run around on a hose paddock anymore!
 
Cheers fellas.
Yours as ever.
Mr Body Armour himself,
Ben D.
 
And another sort of report...
It’s a game of 3 half’s!  
Saturday night (last week) carried on the same way both matches were played; there were men dropping like flies as far as the eye could see, and if they were the eyes of you drunken sods, that would not be that far!
 
You men were the entertainment for the night. ‘Congratulations’ to you all, a magnificent effort was made. There were a few, however, that were literally head ‘n’ shoulder’s above the rest….. The three musketeers, Benos, Toby Wan Kanobe and Monkey boy did an ‘up’ on the bar, standing rendition of Radio Ga Ga, which did not send the girls Ga Ga, more like La La! My very own Big Jim did a screaming version of Angles by Robbie, I have to say this did bring me to tears, not of joy mind you more of laughter..  
John the Greek, Greek you love Hugs, Hugs you are Great, great – need I say no more! Swiss Dave you shake that arse !! Keep on having those dance classes they will pay off in the end. However, if any one had seen Toby Wan’s very own ‘CLASSIC’ move (after he fell off the bar) that is probably the most amount of times you have been able to get your arms and legs moving at any one time; hopefully next time we see you moving that fast it will be on the pitch!  
And as for the rest of you… Treat them mean, keep them keen. Oh yes, you play rugby, drink and dance like a bloody bunch of GIRLS !!!  
Lastly, a huge thanks goes to Jason of the Pier Tavern for orchestrating the riot! Sorry, evening..
 
Yours truly, the SCREAMING side-line Banshee Vicki.

Diary of the Stand In First Team Manager 
Date: 20th October 2001 Location Victoria and various other locales
 
Woke up feeling shit. If the hangover wasn’t bad enough, I was blind too. Started remembering the previous evening. Shit. Shit. Shit. Lost my glasses and briefcase on the journey home. Have vague memories of asking Austen & Mel where I live and how to get there!!  Start to get ready, even find a clean pair of shorts. Pick up the kit from the laundry. Its downhill from here on in. 
Arrive at the farm to find the team chosen early in the week does not really resemble the group hanging around the cafe. Managed to persuade Larry and Mike to play for the first (Thanks).
 
The team that took to the field
1 Martin Ward (Wiggy)
2 Toby Dutfield
3 Mike Costin
4 Neil Mangeolles
5 Scot Levy
6 Larry McCabe
7 Kev Bulmer
8 John Geromoschos
9 Alan Elphinstone
10 Ben Duckett
11 Phil Wilkinson
12 Paul Spendiff
13 Will Knight
14 Nigel Webb
15 Phil Antenbring
16 Jon Chico
 
Result: Bancroft 58 Millwall 7 
Notable Incidents: We did not play that badly in the first half. We were playing against a well organised and disciplined team who, justly, were up 19 – 7 at half time. In the second half our play deteriorated as quickly as our fitness.  The game: We all have views on what went wrong. We were not well prepared (my fault), we missed too many first up tackles, we were not fit enough, we all had conflicting ideas on how to play the game, etc. 
The game: We have to take a few positives the match. We won’t allow ourselves to be so ill-prepared, again, we will never lose by as many points again, we know we have to get fitter and train harder, etc.  Got back to the Pier very light headed and proceeded to watch England play like shit. Lost the match subs, forgot to ring in the match result. In other words total disaster on my behalf. Apologies to everyone 
Went home in a huff. Had a quiet night in. Woke up feeling fine on Sunday (first time in two years) 
As I was not there for the whole of the evening please fill in the gaps:
· Chico got naked ______ times
· Toby had _____ pints
· Kev persuaded the team to have ______ breezers
· The band was _____
· Chico looked so stunning in a dress and got felt up _____ times
 

Llamas (Nil) V Bancroft 2's (22)
 
Well things looked promising to begin with we had 16 fit and able men ready to take to the field of play.....a Llamas sub I hear you cry!! It was almost too good to be true. Would it last?....would it f**k, by the start of the game we had 15, by the end we had 12 (including one of their guys!!!) 
The story of the day went like this... James purchased a car to go to rugby, he proceeded to (try to)follow Glyn's Landrover to the Bancroft ground. Unfortunately he had mechanical trouble and had to stop to transfer his passengers to Glyn’s car (so far so good!) unfortunately however when they set off again James followed the wrong Landrover?!?!....all the way to...(wait for it...) BASILDON!!!!(over 1/2 an hours extra journey!) very impressive considering the fact that they were only a few minutes from the ground when they stopped for the passenger transfer...!  On to the match. We were given one of Bancrofts players (a tiny prop called Oz) so we could go contested in the scrums.  The game started well with the llamas immediately putting pressure on Bancrofts and getting the ball all the way to their 22. we couldn't capitalise on this forward movement however and did not score. after the first 15 minutes Bancrofts started to come back and put considerable pressure on the llamas(especially in the Scrums and lineouts where they had a large weight/height advantage). This pressure resulted in 2 tries for the home side. at half time we were 10 nil down and still in the game. Then the injuries came.. at half time Austin had to come off injured and Jamie volunteered to go into the front row!?! We also lost Gareth an injured knee (which saw Glynn move to 2nd row). We then lost Phil
Aspden with a Broken collar bone and Swiss Dave with a dislocated shoulder, it was more like an episode of casualty than a rugby match!! Bancrofts 2 tries in the second half came when they had a 3 man overlap in the backs.(we only had 12 men on the pitch at the end - one of whom (nick)was playing his 1st game of rugby)). Still as usual the Llamas rallied strongly for the last 20 minutes and put Bancrofts under pressure once more with some excellent forward play from Fred (later to be named man of the match) and Craig. still unfortunately we could not convert the possession into scores. We lost.
On the bright side England choked again, failing to win the grand slam and Glyn put on a bonza display his antipodean criminal ancestry by breaking into his landrover with a coat hanger to retrieve the keys he locked in it by mistake (one too many bangs on the head in the forwards Glyn?!!)
 
Better luck next week lads ....baahhh!!! (or whatever noise llamas make!???)

South Woodham Ferrers vs Millwall
 
Score???
 
If the greatest writer of the written word had written this story, certainly no man who has ever put on a forward’s shirt would have believed it!  
A more talented team did not beat the first team this week as (I think many of us would agree) we have been on previous encounters. We were beaten by the type of men who buy landrovers purely to accommodate their daily pie habit. Having said that, to turn up against these Essex sumos with a 2 13 stone hookers as in the front row was unfortunate. To have one there with a neck injury is just careless.
 
It is not the writer’s intention to have a dig at the selection committee – they had no other options. Nor is it to discount a valiant team performance in which no man could have been asked for more. It is simply a plea to the front five to age ten years and eat like they’ve never eaten before. Forget any gash that fitness coaches have told you about carbo-loading and protein enhancements. From now on it’s ten pints of Guinness, a wild boar and a tub of Lurpack every night.  
Any way back to the game! It all started very well on this warm and bright October afternoon. We arrived at the ground an hour before kick off. Bulmer’s kit had been recovered from the Pier safe and sound and we even had some balls to practice with. With the toss won and the opposition forgetting that they were able to take the kick-off, Millwall looked crazily like a professional outfit.  
From the kick-off, Millwall forwards harangued the opposition like possessed Otters. All this led to a penalty kick, which Mr Shining Armour converted only for the ref to disallow… I’d better mention now to save time later that the ref was a bit confused through the match. Apparently he didn’t realise he was an absolute Cnt.  
They say that the first drive of the match sets the tempo for the rest of the match. A rapid pace would surely suit those magnificent Millwall men. Unfortunately, whoever they are didn’t factor in that Rugby Union, despite all the efforts of the Southern Hemisphere, does have set-pieces. Set pieces in which giving what I reckon was 40 stone a man and having tall people who can jump makes a significant difference. In the first, and pretty much every subsequent scrum, we went back at a similar rate to Montgomery’s tanks. Unfortunately there would be no El Alamein for the Millwall. (Just to note, Eddie Butler has never got quite such a brilliant historical analogy into his Observer column).  
And so the game continued…. Someone on the touchline booking casualty beds every time we packed down and their enormous blonde farmer nicking every bit of line out ball. The backs did some very impressive things when they got the slightest sniff, culminating in a brilliant try scored by Mr Knight, showing all the pace of Bobby Windsor. In fact the forwards in the loose did everything – the standard of rucking through the whole team should act as an encouragement that we will win matches this season.  
Rather than trawl through the tries they scored – mainly because I can’t remember any apart from the one where the scrum turned 120 degrees (did I mention the ref?) – I’d would like to single out a couple of performances. Firstly Chris McCafferty, did an outstanding job not to die when he replaced Toby. He did an even better job of persuading the ref of his front row credentials by announcing ‘I used to play prop but I’ve lost a lot of weight recently’. Secondly, I have no idea how Alan Gallagher managed to get the ball out of the scrum as we were running backwards at him. It was also great to see a few some other old faces getting back out for Millwall.  
One thing we should take heart from is the fact that however large they were, their big fella who squared up to me in the drinking race was an absolute poofter.
 
Ayeeeeethanggggyouu

Kia ora all,
  This weekends victory was the without a doubt the best defensive effort that I’ve seen this season. With the big pack of winging bitches on the other team not crossing our line and me (Cheese), the fullback, not having to make stuff all tackles was testament to the tackling effort put in by all. Off course, last weekend saw the coming of the (Waisaly Serivy play a lot like) Fijian boys. Which was bloody handy for the rest of us to run off their shoulders, and score some top long range tries.TOP STUFF GUYS! KA PAI!
Game Stats: Score 37-9
Tries: Cheese, Ratu 2, Mike, Ali, Flush, Jamie
The score doesn’t fucken add up and and I’m sure Ratu converted the 2nd try so ask Austen what happened! Cons: Cheese 2,
Pens: Cheese 1
They got 3 pussy ass pens!

It seems I’m a man of stuff all words and I got volunteered to do this, that’s it.So keep it up and keep that winning beer flowing
Cheese

MILLWALL WIN AGAIN
 
 
MAY & BAKER 2nd XV
7
MILLWALL LLAMAS
81
 
 
The Millwall squad has been strengthened recently by the arrival of a number of Fijians and, with their help, the Millwall Llamas (aka 2nd XV) thrashed May and Baker 2nd XV on the 3rd November 2001.
 
Millwall opened their account with a fine individual try by Joeli who, after a strong run, scored under the posts after only two minutes. Dan Ratu followed with a try at minute 5 and Mess ran the whole length of the field to score Millwall’s 3rd try after 6 minutes. Our homegrown talent got in on the action with Jamie Freeman also scoring two in the first half. The scoring continued fairly freely and it was 57 – 0 at half time.  
To be fair, May and Baker kept going and were rewarded with a converted try early in the second half. On the day though, with the help of the Fijians, Millwall outclassed M & B in every department. Joeli at wing, Mess at no 8 and Dan Ratu at stand off were outstanding and all scored again in the second half. All the Fijians lads are a joy to watch, playing fast, attacking and skilful rugby. Dan Ratu was awarded man of the match. Other scores for Millwall were made by Grumpy who got two and Glyn Bevan.
 
Unfortunately Millwall 1st XV were narrowly beaten 22 – 17 by Barking 3rd XV.  
For information on getting involved with Millwall Rugby visit the website at millwallrugby.com.

Millwall 0-41 Wanstead
 
With Wanstead having beaten Millwall already this season with victory in the cup, and sitting merrily top of the league, it looked an ominous task for Millwall. But with a solid looking team and an impressive performance the week before, an upset looked like a realistic possibility. Well, unfortunately, as the scoreline suggests, nothing really went according to plan.
 
From the kick off Wanstead advanced with good rucking and set up camp in the Millwall 22. Now as hard as Millwall tried, Wanstead proved a bugger to shift, and after numerous lineouts and scrums one of their lardy blokes crashed over for the 1st score.
 
The second try was scored in a similar fashion to the first. For the 3rd their massive no.6 broke from a ruck and ran over at least 3 players. Heading straight for the corner, he deliberately decided to turn infield and like a roaring bull ran straight for, well, little old me. Now although we crashed into each other on the try line and he did score, I'm glad to say he dropped like a sack of shit, and he went back to the touchline with his tail between his legs and blood pissing from his nose and mouth. That taught him.
 
This kick-started Millwall into playing some rugby and the 1st time the ball was spun and wide saw Eric, alias Bernard Sal, sprinting for the corner. Now there must have been some cute girlies exposing some flesh on the touchline, cause I can't think of any other explanation for this, but he was caught by the loose head prop! What an embarrassment!
 
Millwall started the 2nd half as they finished the 1st, with good aggressive play. But just as it started to look good, somehow the ball was left unattended at the back of the Millwall ruck and one of their players just strolled through and went under the posts. Dazed and confused, Millwall started to lose heart, as well as all the lineouts, scrums, rucks and mostly everything else that was 50-50. But they battled hard, not unlike the Irish performance against the English several weeks ago (which incidentally seems to have made them the current no.1 team in the world, what with the Aussies losing to Jonny Wilkinson et al). Anyway, from broken play Millwall produced several periods of exciting running rugby. Unfortunately each time the try line seemed to be just out of reach.
 
Towards the end Wanstead took control and, with more good rucking they created some good overlaps, and ran in some more tries. Somewhere along the way, I think, 2 conversions were completed. Mention must go to the back row, in particular debutante Jamie Freeman who kept us in the game with some hard tackling. JTG also performed well on the wing, capitalising on any sniff of a turnover, and as a whole the heart of the team was spot on.
 
After the game all the usual excuses cropped up - missing 1st time tackles, allowing the opposition over the gain line too easily, maybe kicking where we should have kept it in hand. But it was a valiant effort from Millwall, and if they can lose their nice-boy image for 80 minutes on a Saturday, and maybe develop a more definite game plan, then the rest of the season could be looking up.
 
  Bilko
 

Llamas vs Wanstead III
 
Any Llamas turning up on Saturday expecting another Fijian-inspired romp got a nasty surprise as the source of the side’s newfound flair had been “grounded” for getting completely wankered at the Pier last week, having promised to foreswear alcohol until they get into the army. Or something like that. 
Anyway, in classic professional Llamas fashion, we kicked off as half the side were still tying their bootlaces/having a fag/rearranging their bollocks, with some people in distinctly unfamiliar positions…  …but a pretty familiar game pattern: Millwall clearly the better side, but losing the ball too easily and finding ourselves 15 down at half time to a shit team full of fat old bastards. The scrum was quite good – the Llamas winning their own ball and much of Wanstead’s – and for once Millwall were rucking the ball effectively, but silly errors meant we kept giving away penalties and losing ground. And the lineouts were pretty shoddy too. 
But in the end the fact is that they scored 5 (ish) half-arsed tries owing more to dodgy Millwall tackling than any particular flair on their part, while the Llamas ran in two beautifully-worked champagne tries, skipper McKillop getting the score in both cases.
 
The final score was about 32-10. Absurd.
 
Oh, and as a footnote, we gave away about 70 metres in penalties because of backchatting the ref, with several Millwall players giving offence. The ref was a bit precious, to say the least (threatening to send one player off for a frustrated “oh for fuck’s sake” – mmmm, sir he swore!), but it’s a problem and we’ve got to sort it out.

Millwall 3 East London 57.
 
 
Well, on a mild November day, expectations where high of a first win in the league against out neighbours were high. The air of seriousness within the gathered players was hopefully going to bring the deserved win.
However, nearly as soon as the ball was kicked off the expectations wilted. With a near break away try in the right hand corner after players were sucked in around the rucks and the mauls. This set the presidents for the rest of the afternoon. The conversion was missed. Millwall rushed back up the field and had good pressure we earned a penalty which Ben Duckett duly did the honours and put Millwall back in the running again.
After this though it was all one way traffic. East London dominated running in tries for fun. The heart had gone out of Millwall.
 
Half-time came to many players relief. New-boy Alistair Sykes was substituted off on his first team debut for Cheese. 
 
The second half was a different mater the heart and sole of what makes Millwall a fine club was back we competed with a team that had beaten us in all departments in the first half. We looked good. Aggression was there. As was some good link up play around the rucks and the mauls with Jamie Freeman. However, injuries came and more substitutions were made. Special mention to Phil Attenbring, who on return from injury made glowing runs through the heart of the East London defences which looked as though he was wearing an A-B shirt. 
The much spoke about heart of the club seemed to be missing for the last 20 minutes of the second half. Basics were not carried out and everybody looked despondent. This is not the Millwall club I had joined!
 
Ben Steed spoke of the need for training, and this should be heeded. Without training we will get beat!
 
  But there is always this week. Try and pick ourselves back up and get some good match practise against Thurrock in readiness for the big game ( 2/12/01) against May and Baker. This is a V big game for the club. This will set the standard. We believe that we should stay in this league and lets prove that we should.

Millwall Llamas 14 Anglia 1's 5
 
This was Millwall Llamas 2nd Essex Merit table game of the season, and itlooked like it was going to be a tough one. Conditions were poor, and almost certainly not suited to Millwall Llamas style of play, also Anglia 1's were undefeated so far this season. Millwall started poorly conceding an easy try in the first 5 minutes. Immediately after however Millwall rallied and immediately began to put Anglia under pressure, this pressure culminated in a try for Ratu one of Millwalls Fijian contingent, who finished off a well worked move with a run in between the posts (, the try was subsequently converted). Millwall could have had more scores in the first half were it not for some determined defending form Anglia in their own 22. The second half saw Millwall again go on the offensive and immediately put Anglia under pressure with some penetrating running from the Fijian No.8, Mess. Millwalls 2nd try came from Outside Centre Nick Tiffin (playing his first match for the club) who took advantage of some slack passing from Anglia’s Inside Centre to make an excellent interception just inside the oppositions half, from which he proceeded to run a try in between the posts, once again the try was converted. This match was evenly balanced overall with both sides having opportunities to score which in most cases were snuffed out by tenacious and hard tackling on both sides. Millwall however produced the best move of the match after some quick ball from a ruck which saw the ball shipped down the line and the centre looping round the wing to receive the ball then releasing it inside to the supporting full back only few feet short of the try line, which he subsequently crossed and scored. Millwall were denied the try however by a dubious forward pass decision at the end of the move.
Overall Millwall deserved the victory, and will surely be contenders for a good position in the Essex merit table should this form continue in the competition.
Final Score 14-5.

MEMBER OF PARLIAMENT SEES MILLWALL WIN
 
 
MILLWALL 1st XV
18
MAY & BAKER 1st XV
5
 
Millwall Rugby Club President, Mr Jim Fitzpatrick MP, a keen sportsman, was in the crowd to see his team win this important league game.
The match was played on Saturday 01 December 2001 at Millwall’s home ground – Victoria Park. The weather was British – rain, wind and sunshine. Millwall looked the part making an impressive slow jog, as a team, to the pitch. Contrast May and Baker who came out in two’s and three’s. From the May and Baker kick off Millwall got the all important first possession of the ball. A good move in the Millwall backs immediately put May and Baker on the back foot. They only managed to clear their line with the help of touch. Millwall’s throw at the line out. Possession was retained albeit scrappily and the ball shipped from scrum half to stand off to inside centre Mark Dempsey. Returning from injury Dempsey put up a huge Gary Owen. Their full back fumbled and Millwall’s outside centre Will Knight collected the loose ball and sprinted home for Milllwall’s first try only four minutes into the match. The try was converted by stand off Ben Duckett. From the restart May and Baker infringed and the referee awarded the first scrum of the game. Millwall put in, the pack held their own and the ball was shipped out to the backs. Strong running in the centres forced May and Baker to infringe again and the referee awarded Millwall a penalty. Millwall chose to kick for goal but Ben Duckett’s kick missed the target. A RUGBY OWN GOAL
May and Bakers 22 drop out was gathered by the Millwall pack and after good ball retention play by Millwall the May and Baker pack again infringed. The referee awarded Millwall a penalty in their own half. What happened next was unusual and original. Firstly the referee awarded Millwall ten yards and then another ten yards for what we can only presume was May and Baker back chat. Goal was now kickable and up stepped Ben Duckett. It was a good kick but was falling just short. Not realising it was falling short up went a May and Baker second row to block the ball from going over but actually succeeded in changing the trajectory of the ball so that it went over. The touch judges, the players and the crowd all looked confused but the referee was not. The fact is the ball went over and that is three points to Millwall - and 10 nil up half way through the first half.
The second quarter went to May and Baker with their forwards camped on the Millwall line. May and Baker are a physical side and they inflicted some damage on Millwall. Firstly Ben Duckett was knocked out and had to be substituted. Then Darren Boyle had to come off with a blood injury just before half time. But Millwall held themselves together and managed to clear their line without conceeding points.
At half time Millwall fan and sports doctor Sheila stitched up Darren Boyles forehead and he was able to return to fray. The first ten of the second half was scrappy and the second ten dominated by the May and Baker pack. Eventually May and Bakers efforts were rewarded with a forwards try. The May and Baker prop had a good go but missed the conversion.
  Millwall managed to get themselves back into the game and even managed some backs play with Mark Dempsey making good ground with his strong powerful runs. Following one such passage of play May and Baker infringed and Will Knight stepped up to slot the penalty.
Millwall’s were in the ascendancy and good forward and back linking moves resulted in Millwall gaining ground. The pressure told and Millwall forced May and Baker into conceeding a penalty on their own line. Millwall prop Ben Steed ran at the May and Baker forwards, bounced off, but managed to keep the ball alive, passing to Darren Boyle who powered over for Millwalls second try. It was a good effort from Darren Boyle to go back on after his earlier injury but worth it when rewarded with a try. He was made Man of the Match. The conversion was fluffed. The referee blew for full time. The win was hard fought and excellent news for Millwall. They’ll be celebrating on the Island tonight – as they say. The Millwall Llamas did not play on 01 December 2001 but both teams should be in action on 08 December 2001.
Millwall rugby is sponsored by Alex Neil Estate Agents.
For information on getting involved with Millwall Rugby visit the website at www.millwallrugby.com.
 

OLD BRENTWOOD 1st XV
32
MILLWALL 1st XV
3
 
Millwall Rugby Club were unable to keep the winning streak going down to a strong Old Brentwood team in this important league game. 
The match was played on Saturday 08 December 2001 at Old Brentwoods ground. The weather was cold and cloudy. 
Millwall could not hold Brentwood in the scrum and struggled at the line out. Consequently it was Brentwood who had most of the possession in the first half. The Brentwood backs were proficient enough to exploit the advantage and scored two converted tries. Millwall’s only first half score was a penalty kicked by Will Knight. Millwall did put pressure on Brentwood and in particular Carl Llewellyn made good strong runs from full back.  Millwall kept going and in the second half saw more possession and were unlucky not to score midway through the second half. Brentwood countered and scored a breakaway try running the whole length of the pitch which was converted. Millwall threw caution to the wind towards the end of the game and were a pass away from a try but came away empty handed. Brentwood made further scores against the run of play. Brentwood deserved to win the margin of victory flattered them. Millwall can take a lot from the game with good performances in particular from both the centres and on the flank. Milllwall man of the match was Carl Llewellyn. 
Without the Famous Fijians and other cry offs The Millwall Llamas only had twelve men against the fifteen of Old Brentwood 2’nds. The Llamas did well scoring three tries but eventually went down 24 – 17. Both teams are in action away at Braintree for friendlies on 15 December 2001.  Millwall rugby is sponsored by Alex Neil Estate Agents. For information on getting involved with Millwall Rugby visit the website at www.millwallrugby.com.

Llamas v Old Brentwood 2nds
 
Well Llamas started with a thirteen man team, This included a player from the opposition who was new to the Rugby game, but played with enthusiasm and commitment against his own home side. We played with no Flanker and no Full back. 
Millwall played surprisingly well in the loose and the surging attacks
flowed from all the rucks. We spent all the 1st half about 30 metres from their line, but just never seemed to get over. The opposition time and time again retrieved possession just in front of their line and simply booted the ball down the park into the big gaps in our defensive formation. They had a couple of whippets who ran onto the ball and then dribbled before scooping up the ball and scoring. It was 21/0 at half time. 
The 2nd half started with an Attack from Adam from a scrum down. After side stepping two of the opposition. The player who had played with millwall in the first half had changed back to his own side and immediately ran into Adams elbow with his teeth and jaw. This created an even bigger gap which allowed Adam to make another twenty metres, before drawing the defence and popping the ball to Swiss Dave, who crashed through to score his first try for Millwall. This sudden elation at scoring his try caused Swiss Dave (Porn star in training) to follow up almost immediately with another try. He was on a roll. 
LLamas then went from strength to strength. We were running and crashing through them with good communication and team work. Everyone was really enjoying this. 
The big boy James went over the line after crashing through at least three players. He shuffled across the last ten metres with an opposition back attached to his big toe. A brave man my any account James has got a horrible big toe.(Viewing is optional and not recommended). This was also a first Millwall try for James. 
Boys to watch out for, Who all had a cracking game. All the LLamas team. Everyone gave 100% 
Adam
I felt Adam had a good game and this deserves mention. Please insert (somewhere) A good number of chances were provided by the dynamic and explorative runs of Adam Cottis at scrum-half. These sadly did not yield the elusive points which could well have provided the opposite and longed for result.
Cheeks
 

BRAINTREE 3rd XV
10
MILLWALL 1st XV
18
 
Millwall’s matches on 15 December 2001 were against Braintree who are a much bigger club than Millwall. Consequently that is why Millwall 1’s and the Llamas play their 3rds and 4ths respectively. The Llamas game was a merit table fixture and some not all of the Fijians were available. Unfortunately Braintree could not raise a 4th team and the game was scratched – presumably with the points going to the Llamas.  The 1st team match did go ahead and as the game was a friendly and with a more important league game to follow Millwall took the opportunity to rest some of the regular 1st team players. 
Those that did play started well. Millwall gained early advantage with the towering James Hilling winning the first line out. The half backs took the ball to the Tree defence and were supported by the Millwall forwards. Millwall then retained possession and made ground through four phases of play with the forwards slowly sucking in the Tree tacklers. The man who started the move finished it – James Hilling going over for the first try of the afternoon after only five minutes of play. The try was not converted.  Millwall continued to play the more creative rugby and were holding their own in the scrums. What let them down and kept Tree in the game was too many penalties conceded. The Tree fly half missed an easy penalty goal letting Millwall off the hook. But from another midway through the first half Tree’s paceman exposed some poor Millwall tackling and went over for a try. The conversion from in front of the posts was missed – a second let off for Millwall.  From the restart Millwall looked dangerous, won a scrum and Paul Spendiff, strong as ever in the centre made an excellent break to get Millwall going forward. Good support and ball retention committed the Tree defence leaving space for winger Jamie Mckillop to go over in the corner. The conversion was missed. 
Millwall kept up the pressure and an excellent interception by Spendiff allowed him the space to make a lot of ground. Eventually tackled Nick Tiffin in support kept the move going. Under the cosh on their own try line Tree infringed. The penalty was taken quickly and catching the Tree defence bunched Mckillop was over in the corner for his second try of the afternoon. The conversion was missed. 
But Millwall let Tree back into the game losing the ball needlessly then giving away a silly penalty. Again the Tree pace man went through the Millwall defence too easily for his second try of the afternoon.  The conversion was missed. 
Millwall were up 15 – 10 at half time and the game looked promising for the second half. Unfortunately neither teams could operate as effectively as the referee’s whistle. The third quarter went to Tree inflicting a lot of injuries on Millwall. Fortunately the replacements measured up to the task and managed to keep Tree out. The fourth quarter saw Millwall back in the game and Harland Sinclair kicked a penalty leaving Tree needing to score twice.  There were no further scores and Millwall were the winners – notwithstanding they made rather hard work of it.  Millwall 1st XV have an important league game on Saturday 22nd December at home against East London Rugby Club. The Llamas have no fixture. 
Millwall rugby is sponsored by Alex Neil Estate Agents. For information on getting involved with Millwall Rugby visit the website at www.millwallrugby.com.

Match day 2001-12-22
 
I would like to start by wishing all the Millwall members, friends and family a merry Christmas happy New Year and all that kind of shit. 
It was fucking cold at the beginning of the day and was still fucking cold at the end of the day. The only difference was that 15+2=17 grown men now had a great reason to go to a pub and get slaughtered, and you can try as hard as you like to explain this to a woman and they just don’t get it. It would have been even better if the outcome of the game was that we had won, but tough shit we didn’t. Hey that’s fine we can still drink!!  A few people that need a mention
1. Chris who seemed to throw the ball in when the ref was not looking as he never got blown up for skew throw ins.
2. Our captain should think about writing a book about rugby, as he always knows what to say.
3. Darren that played at prop which must be the shittiest position on the field.
4. Grumpy for sleeping on the side-line. 
The score?? Well they beat us and that’s about all you bunch need to know, as the score makes those bunch of East London inbred pricks look better than what they actually were. Well after about 5-10 min of bitching about how fucking cold it was, we really got stuck in. I know all 15 of the Millwall men on the pitch played there hearts out and no one really wanted to leave the pitch, blood injuries where solved by a piece of loo paper shoved up the nose and ice was never needed as you could just stand in the fucking cold wind and that did the trick. Cheese did a great job of kicking and Dave’s amazing try was the highlight of the game for me. Kevin started it with a great chip up field, from then on it was almost like watching a slow motion clip on TV. They, the inbred dick heads, were diving to try and stop him but he just jinxed, side stepped and ran over a few of them. He made them look like a right bunch of ice holes. I know I have left out a lot of details but I had my head stuck at the bottom of a scrum or ruck for most of the game.  Cheers
Flushman

MILLWALL 1st XV
12
DAGENHAM 1st XV
37
 
Millwall’s match on 06 January 2002 in the Essex Presidents Shield (a cup game) was supposed to be at home but its pitch could not be made available. So down the A13 they went to Dagenham who are second in league below. It was a mild day but dull and overcast. Nevertheless both teams had plenty of vocal support.  From the start it was clear that Millwall were going to be outgunned at scrums and line outs. Twenty minutes in the penny dropped and when Millwall ran a series of penalties space eventually opened up. Two long passes spread the ball wide. John Geromoschos ran hard but was tackled on the line. Will Knight in support got the all important touch down and Ben Duckett converted. 
Dagenham came straight back and forced a penalty which they kicked to the corner flag. Dagenham won the line out and went over for a try in the 25th minute but was not converted. 
From the kick off Dagenham once again gained ground and forced a line out. Millwall won the line out but could not present tidy ball. Dagenham nicked the ball and went over for an easy score under the posts which was converted. 
At the restart Millwall sensibly varied the game and kicked open. Dagenham fumbled and Milllwall won the resultant scrum. Millwall called a M1 move and Will Knight ran in a try from half way evading / breaking two or three tackles. Stand off Duckett missed the conversion. The score was 12 -12 after thirty minutes. 
A Millwall mistake from the kick off gifted Dagenham possession and Millwall were under pressure. Millwall prop Ben Steed went down injured and Millwall play stopped. The referee though had not blown his whistle and Dagenham scored a drop goal to go in front.  
Dagenham piled on the pressure and scored two quick tries before half time. 
In the second half when Millwall ran the ball they looked dangerous and were unlucky not to score. In particular the midfield impressed. Millwall man of the match was Will Knight. 
Dagenham played to their superiority up front and scored two tries in the second half one of which was converted. 
Millwall 1st XV have a difficult league game on Saturday 12th January 2002 away against Wanstead 1st XV. The Llamas are also away to Wanstead 3rd XV.
 

FIRST REPORT
 
Wanstead 36 – Millwall 0  
The day started off on a plus note as it looked like there would be two full sides with a couple of subs to spare. However, as always, it appeared that [with navigation never being the club’s strong point] we would be loosing people even before we started the games. When we did arrive at Wanstead RFC we were shown to what the home side described as the better changing room and what everyone else would describe as a boxing gym. With six or seven punch bags hanging from the roof we anticipated several cheeky punches being thrown during the game and with this in mind one or two lads decided to brush up on their technique.  
The pitch was heavy under foot and the weather was unimpressive but conditions were the same for both sides. In the first half Millwall RFC had several periods of pressure never quite ending in the points they deserved. Matters were not helped when Jamie Freeman was binned for ten minutes for some over exhuberant play. We were frustrated further by the fact that Wanstead were turning their pressure into points. At the break the home side went in with a healthy lead.
 
The half time talk must have done some good as the Millwall RFC side set about the game with a little bit more determination in the second half. There was an impressive tackle count and again Millwall had several periods of pressure. The end score was a rather unflattering 36-0 to Wanstead, but there were many plus points to be taken from the game. The fact that break-away moves were being run by clever forward and back interplay with, on more than one occasion, Darren breaking through in midfield. Effort was being maintained all the way to the final whistle, which is a good sign for the future.

Llamas 07 - Wanstead 3's 10
 
'15 Men Mugged By Old Bearded Bloke!'
 
Last Saturday saw the Llamas play their second friendly this season against Wanstead 3's; the last match was marred by some of the worst refereeing ever seen… unfortunately we had the same ref again this match.!!!  Wanstead started strongly scoring 2 tries (which they failed to convert) in the first 10 minutes, after that they rarely threatened our try line again. Millwall excelled in many areas with Nigel Webb (later to be named man of the match) dominating the line out, with Millwall winning over 95% of their own lineout ball (something of a rarity this season!), we also won a good slice of the opposition’s ball. It would of been more if the opposition had not resorted in their frustration to trying to take our jumper out in the air instead of the ball. All of this of course went un punished by a referee that could only be described as inept, biased, and down-right useless! Any hint of any vocal dissent (even imaginary) resulted in Millwall conceding a penalty / scrum. This became worse as the game went on and it was obvious that the Referee was determined not to see his team lose, despite the fact that Millwall were blatantly the better side for 75% of the match. Millwall’s try came from one of our Fijian contingent, Sakeo, who ran the ball under the posts, after getting the ball on the half way line and beating a number of the Wanstead defenders. The try was converted. Millwall had the chance to go ahead after debut flyhalf Neil Mackay picked up a ball which popped out from a ruck, found a gap in the defence and went through it, advanced to the oppositions 22 before committing a defender and laying the ball off to Max who was tackled just short of the line, he released the ball to Jamie “Safe Hands” McKillop who proceeded to knock the ball over the line… a sad end to a good move.  The end of the game was blighted by substitute prop (fresh from playing 80 mins from the 1's on the next pitch) Mike Costin, who was sin binned after 30 seconds for trying to break up a developing confrontation between the two teams. Obviously the ref did not like the idea of Millwall having a prop of more that 13 stone on the pitch (up to now the Millwall front row had comprised of Neil Murphy, Nigel Webb, Kevin Doherty, and for the last couple of minutes Jamie Mckillop, hardly a heavyweight front row you will all agree !!!!) [needless to say the scrums were unopposed!] 
So that was that, Millwall sunk to an undeserved 10-7 loss against an average (heavily referee assisted) Wanstead team. There was a lot to be pleased about however, the llamas played well as a unit and dominated many areas of the game, finishing the stronger team by a considerable margin. Yet again against Wanstead we failed to convert possession into points, something we must rectify in the future.

OLD BEALONIANS 1st XV 12 MILLWALL 1st XV 26
 
Millwall 1st XV game on 19 January 2002 was a friendly against Old Bealonians and was played in sunny but windy conditions. O.B.’s are in the division below and it was important that Millwall won.  From the outset Millwall looked the part and did not disappoint. Millwall had the wind in the first half and needed points the first of which came in the second minute. The O.B. kick off was caught cleanly by Millwall lock Jar O’Brien who set the ball well for a Millwall ruck. Possession was retained and stand off Ben Duckett kicked to make use of the wind but did not make touch. The OB full back decided to run back at Millwall but was well tackled. He tried to pass the ball from the tackle but the pass was intercepted by the Millwall centre Dave Brown who ran in the try under the posts. Ben Duckett converted.  The remainder of the first quarter was all Millwall and James Hilling was disappointed that his foot was in touch as he touched what would have otherwise been a well worked try. It took until minute 22 for their next score. Millwall turned over a O.B. ruck from which Nigel Webb intelligently and quickly spinned the ball open which went along the backs to Dave Brown who ran strongly and skillfully from halfway and through the O.B. defence for his and Millwall’s second try. Ben Duckett converted.  Not that Millwall had it all their own way. The second quarter was more evenly balanced and O.B. were rewarded for their endeavours just before half time. A well worked penalty move unlocked the Millwall defence and they went over for a try and which was converted. 
Millwall kicked off the second half into the wind and the gather by O.B. was fumbled. Millwall were doing well in the scrum all afternoon and from the resultant scrum Nigel Webb, Jar O’Brien and Jamie Freeman linked up well with Sean Landy getting Millwall’s third try in the corner. Ben Duckett could not convert.  Again O.B. came back and were camped on the Millwall try line for some fifteen minutes before going over for a try in the corner which was not converted. 
Millwall’s final try came as a result of terrier like harassing from replacement scrum half Ben Scyzsak. His pressure forced an O.B. mistake and Millwall turned over the possession. Good forward support play sucked in O.B. defence and space opened up for replacement flanker Rob James to run in under the posts. Ben Duckett converted.  Millwall man of the match was Dave Brown for his two tries but a special mention goes to the front row, Martin Ward, Chris McCafferty and Tim Bigg for steadying the scrum which Millwall dominated throughout the game. 
Millwall 1st XV captain Will Knight commented ‘I am very pleased with the Millwall effort today in particular Jamie Freeman who has played out of his skin’.  Millwall Llamas ended up playing very accomplished opposition – a strong Eton Manor 3rd XV. They put up a spirited performance but went down 40 – 7. Canadian Jeff Fairburn got the Llamas try and Shawn Spilsbury converted.  Millwall 1st XV have an important league game on Saturday 26th January 2002 at home against South Woodham Ferrers 1st XV. The Llamas are away to South Woodham Ferrers 2nd XV. 
Millwall Rugby Club is sponsored by Alex Neil Estate Agents and benefits from using facilities provided by Tower Hamlets Council and Mudchute Farm. 
For information on getting involved with Millwall Rugby visit the website at www.millwallrugby.com.
 
Cc The Wharf
East End Life
Docklands News

MILLWALL SUCCEED IN 'HOLY QUEST' FOR FIRST CUP
OF THE SEASON

Tuesday, January 22, 2002
Subject : Midweek Game Millwall v's Gensler
Yesterday saw a scratch Millwall team victorious in the re-match vs Gensler, played at Barking Rugby Club under floodlights. Millwall deservedly ran out winners, 17-10 and Captain on the night, Jar O'Brien, collected the Trophy in the clubhouse after the game.
A full report (wriiten by Chris McCafferty) appears below...if you have any comments to make (about how well you played, for example) email them to the site by clicking here.
Thanks to everyone, players and supporters, that turned out last night,
Jamie McKillop
Your emailed comments (sent to iwasfantastic@millwallrugby.com):
Congrats boyz, I am sorry but was laid in bed feeling sorry for myself.
Take care, C U Soon
Tim Hughes
Unfortunately I was not fantastic. I did however spit my dummy out when some short fat skinhead ran through our entire pack.It could be worth mentioning the name of the lame sponsor who didn't show up. Queer.!!Regards
Kieran Bell
Name: Mick Curran
-----------------------------------------------
comment: 
Congrats on winning your first trophy of the season. On reading the match report, could someone who was there confirm that a Mr Jar O Brien kicked the conversion from the ground and not from his hands as having played rugby with Jar for many years, he could not kick a ball to save his life.
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Millwall Squad v Gensler,  
7:30pm Mon 21st Jan 2002 at Barking's ground
Millwall 17 - 10 Gensler
scorers:
Cheese
James Hilling
Nick Tiffin (converted Jar O'Brien)

THE TEAM.
Mike Costin
Neil Murphy / Chris “Danger” McCafferty Aussie Tim Richards
Jar O'Brien
James Hilling
Grumpy
Craig Greer / chico
Olly Arthey
Larry McCabe / Adam Cottis
Nick Tiffin
Flex
Brendan Callaghan
Dom "Pop idol" Morched
Jamie McKillop
Cheese / Kieran Bell
 
A dry mild night found Millwall back at Barking rugby club for the deciding fixture against Gensler. The previous 'training match' had been a draw, so a game was organised to decide ownership of a spangly gold trophy. 
A mixed team took the field including many people who had played on Saturday. Supporting on the sidelines were Mike Beech, Vicky, Mike Marques and Barry O'Niell. 
The game started well for our lads, with Cheese finishing a good move to open the scoring for Millwall. The pack were working well in the scrums and had been useful in the loose but as is customary, went to sleep after taking the lead. 
Gensler broke back with a try from one of their larger players (many of whom appeared to be old friends from May and Baker or Barking), which woke us up a bit. Millwall were establishing a good platform in the scrums, Craig Greer was leaping like a salmon in the line-outs and there were useful breaks in the backs. But after long periods in Gensler's half and often stuck 10 yards out, the lads were unable to make the breakthrough. Very often it seemed that we were playing 7s style rugby instead of taking the ball in when it was needed and establishing a platform for the next phase. Instead, after a lapse in concentration and assisted by some interesting penalty decisions, Genlser moved up pitch and somewhat against the run of play, scored to take the lead. Fortunately their kicker shared the same style as Tiff and the try was an unconverted 5 - 10 at half time.
Mark Dempsey rallied the troops during the break and demanded simple play from all. Millwall had it all to do, but quickly established camp in the Gensler half. Good runs from Flex and pop idol Darius kept the pressure on, Larry McCabe sniped from the back of rucks and mauls, until having to go off, replaced by Adam Cottis. But again there was too little penetration in the last 10 yards. Adam Cottis seemed to have a try not long after coming on, but was denied by the ref on a dubious technicality. The tension was all too much for Kieran 'Anger Management' Bell, who had clearly given his Primal Screaming class a miss to be with us on Monday. 
Finally the breakthrough came when 10 yards out, James Hilling picked up the ball and did the necessary, ploughing over the line for a try. After the score, we could see the ref was down and assumed he'd had the misfortune of getting in Big Jim's way to the line but in fact Adam had used the opportunity to take his vicious revenge on the ref, laying him out with a huge punch disguised as a victory air punch. 
After a few minutes treatment for the ref, we resumed. Again Millwall went slightly off the boil, but recovered in time to stop a couple of scares from Gensler. The match was drawn, but it was clear that if anyone was going to score it would be Millwall. 
Nick Tiffin crowned the game with a lovely piece of opportunism in the Gensler half. Olly had the ball from a ruck, made a break but got tackled...he passed the ball (very low) to Nick Tiffin who fly-hacked the ball forward. A cynical but woefully weak effort at taking Tiff out, as he ran on for the try, meant that the referee's arm was up to award the penalty try even as Nick touched down himself. Skipper Jar was having no more of this no-conversion game and notched up the final 2 points himself. 
All that remained was to pile into the bar and receive the cup and Jar's eloquent acceptance speech. Quote of the evening goes to a lippy 8 year-old barking lad who came at Big Jim with: "You may be bigger than me but I have superior fighting skills". Well, quite.

MILLWALL 1st XV 5 SOUTH WOODHAM FERRERS 1st XV 15
Back to the league and at home on Saturday 26 January 2002. The conditions were atrocious with the match being played in heavy rain and strong wind.
Millwall captain Jar O'Brien won the toss and elected to play with the wind behind in the first half. Millwall started the game well with full back Ben Duckett kicking well so that the first quarter was played in Ferrers 22. Unfortunately Millwall came away empty handed and in the second quarter the play was nip and tuck and evenly balanced. Both teams played good committed and skilful rugby but there was no score in the first half.
From the second half restart Ferrers made good use of the wind and they pressured the Millwall line in the first few minutes. Millwall's defence was good but eventually Ferrers got a forwards try. The conversion was missed.
Millwall kept playing and took the game to Ferrers and had a good spell of pressure. Ferrers were able to clear their line but the stand offs kick was gathered by Millwall winger Harland Sinclair on his own 22. He ran straight back and through the Ferrers defence eventully being tackled by their full back on their 22. Good support was on hand from Darren Boyle who kicked through for Grumpy to collect and power over for a try in the corner. Ben Duckett's conversion attempt was a good effort into a howling wind but missed narrowly.
Millwall's hackers were up and their vocal support were baying for more points. But from the restart Millwall fumbled and then a further mistake meant that the possession and hence momentum was lost.
The referee seemed to award Ferrers everything and the Millwall support were getting agitated especially when he awarded Ferrers a penalty in kickable range. The penalty just went over and time was running out.
Millwall threw everything they had at the game and can take a lot of heart from the effort was shown by the team. Unfortunately Ferrers were able to counter and scored a try (which was converted) in the last minute of the game.
Millwall man of the match was prop Tim Trapp who again forced the opposition's props to swap sides.
The Ferrers team joined the Millwall team for food and drinks after the game.
Millwall Llamas travelled to Brentwood and beat their 4th XV by 14 - 8.
Millwall 1st XV have a difficult league game on Saturday 03 February 2002 away against Bancroft 1st XV. The Llamas are also away to Bancroft 2nd XV.
Millwall rugby is sponsored by Alex Neil Estate Agents.
For information on getting involved with Millwall Rugby visit the website at www.millwallrugby.com.

LLAMAS 14 - BRENTWOOD 5

G'day, what a game the Llamas had against Brentwood on Saturday. Despite having a lot of hung over players, a few new faces to the team and Toby throwing up on the side line we seemed to be the dominating side on the miserable field that was literally flooded - most admit have never played in such conditions before. A lot of great tackles, strong hits from the pack and lots of great passing allowed the llamas to have a great run of the ball even in the worst conditions. There were a lot of loose balls unfortunately due to the slippery ground but having a strong pack we had Brentwood falling down like bowling pins - injured and helpless to break through our line up. Great passing through the backs and great attacking saw us getting hungry for a try. The back line's quick passing gave the Llamas the first try. Adam sent the ball to Billy, who had his first game for the llamas, then over to the centre's Alastair McCaig and Pop idol Dom who then fed it to winger Jeff Fairburn that allowed him to run through Brentwood's gap and score under the posts. We kept hitting hard all through the game and more of Brentwood's players were left injured. Great tackles from the man of the match Toby, Chico, Matt and all of the other players. . . Brentwood tried to break through and score but were held back and tackled by our fast wingers and fullback.
The second half, having tried to keep ourselves warm from the strong chilly winds and dragging our heavy muddy feet we still kept fighting. Our Second try came from Matt, who had a great strong run, broke through 3 or 4 tackles and dived over the line. Yorkie managed to